Real
by Lilyflower.Prongs
Summary: Katniss looks down at her Mockingjay thinking about Peeta's question that he has been asking for fifteen years...
1. Mockingjay pin and real

Katniss sat up in their room in her own with her eyes fixed upon the old pin, the Mockingjay pin. So many memories filled her mind when she looked at the pin and it had been awhile since she had gotten it out, mostly because of her – dead – sister Prim and all the others that she knew who had died in the revolution of the capitol.

Her face showing no emotion except pain, pain that filled her eyes. She only did these moments of feeling numbness and pain was when Peeta was working at the baker and wouldn't be able to see her break. They had been married for nearly fifteen years now but Katniss still didn't like being weak in front of him, one of her many reason for hating having her nightmares.

Just perched on the end of their bed. Thoughts consumed her mind and often it was the same thought, children. Many, many times had Peeta asked Katniss for children. Ever since the metal of her wedding ring kissed the skin on her ring finger on her left hand Peeta had asked for them to try for a family. She had always said no, due to the vow she made when she realised what the country of Panem was really like.

It broke her heart that she was stopping Peeta from doing something that would bring them closer as a couple, she loved him … didn't she? Well she obviously didn't she thought because if she did then she would have given Peeta children years ago.

She continued to stare down at the pin and her thoughts started to drift towards the war that raged around them at the time, and also when Peeta had been hijacked and tortured into thinking that Katniss (the girl he loved) was a mutt. It was hard for Katniss to see him like that, she could remember the day like it was yesterday. She was running towards Peeta's room in the hospital and as she saw him and drew closer to him to kiss him, that his hands had unclosed around her neck.

He had gotten better but he still had some brief moments in which he would lose himself for a second or two but with one look at his wedding ring did he come back to her with a kiss on her lips and look in to her deep grey Seam eyes.

After what felt like hours gazing down at the pin did she get off the bed and place at the bottom of her smallest draw where she used to keep the pearl that Peeta had given her at the Quarter Quell but Peeta had taken the and pearl and had it turned into her engagement ring.

"Katniss!" Peeta called out as he entered their home.

"I'm coming!" She shouted back. She quickly looked in the mirror that hung in their room, making sure she looked ok. Katniss walked down the stairs and found Peeta laying down on their sofa with his eye lids looking heavy but upon seeing Katniss did he seem to perk up a bit and smile that he only had for her seem to graze his lips. It was in the moment in which Katniss knew that she loved him and wanted to have his children and make him happy.

"Peeta I want to have children with you, real." She spoke so simply as if she the words tucked away inside her. Happiness filled her but still the fear of what could happen to their children … if Peeta wanted to have any with her still. "Peeta," she spoke again as she noticed he hadn't said anything but then she felt his lips press against her in a passionate kiss but it was delicate too and filled with all the love he had for her.

Peeta released Katniss but still had his arms wrapped protectively and lovingly around her waist. Both their heads pressed together and their breathing deep and heavy but their smile on both of their lips stayed.

"Katniss I love you SO much and I can't put into words how happy you have made me," Peeta spoke and sounded as if he had just be given all the luxury items that District 1 make.

"Well you don't have to put it into words," Katniss replied seductively with a coy smile grazing her full pink lips. She slowly stepped out of his arms and slowly walked up the stairs to their bedroom with Peeta's eyes glued on Katniss hips and couldn't help but notice she was swaying them a little more than normal. A smirk rising on his lips and he couldn't help but feel a twitch in his trousers.

Peeta walked up to their bedroom to find Katniss just perched on the end of their bed. His travelled over her body and noticed her wearing a dark green silk bra and knickers. His upon noticing the lack of clothing his eyes fell dark with desire, he walked over to her and lifted off his shirt dropping it to the floor and with his left hand did he lifted up her chin.

Katniss's eyes slowly looked up into his deep blue eyes, her eyes filled with desire at the sight of his exposed chest. Both eyes gazing at each other before their lips in a kiss starting off slow but then getting more heated and hotter by each move of their lips and tongue…


	2. Waking up and door knocks

Waking up the next morning, Katniss and Peeta found themselves in a tangle of sheets. Peeta's arms still wrapped around Katniss waist in a tight loving embrace. Their naked bodies pressed up tight sharing each other's warmth. The slight chill that drifted through the open window that Peeta needed to have open every night to sleep, the slight chill awoke Peeta from his deep sleep. His bright blue eyes shining with love and happiness … and desire.

A smile grazing his lips at the sight of his wife and at the memories of last night. Pulling back slightly just so he could gaze down at Katniss. Taking in every detail of her body, the bed sheet had slipped down and had left her from the waist upwards exposed and all for him to see. He took in the sight of her small but perfect round perky breasts, her stomach that was just right in size but he didn't care if she was skinny, fat, small or tall he loved her (and would always love her) just the way she was.

Thinking back on last night's events and grinning like an idiot. He could remember every touch of her – hot – body, every kiss of her lips and every thrust of her body. With one of his hands that was wrapped around her waist did he place upon on the stomach thinking what it would be like if she was caring their child in there. He wondered that after last night that a baby, their baby, was starting to develop … but he couldn't get his hopes up, he just couldn't.

His fingers slowly tracing small patterns over her stomach, wanting to wake Katniss but the look on her face stopped him. It was rare that she would be able to go through a night and not have any nightmares. Slowly he pulled back thinking about starting to make her breakfast ready for when she awoke but he felt her shift beside him and heard a soft quite moan escape her delicate lips.

"Morning," Peeta spoke softly rubbing his thumb over her cheek.

"Morning," Katniss replied with a blush rising on her cheeks and Peeta guessed that she might remembering last night's events or noticing that her breasts were exposed. She pulled the sheet up towards her chin. After being together for fifteen years she still felt very self-conscious about her body, it was one thing he loved about her but also didn't like. She had a beautiful body and just wished she could be able to feel comfortable around him.

"Katniss you don't need to cover yourself up in front of me," he said with a sigh but didn't want to upset her but just wish that she would feel a bit more comfortable with him.

"No I know … I just don't like looking at my body," she said taking her eyes away from Peeta and clutching at the bed sheets feeling stupid for what she just said.

"Katniss…" Peeta lifted up her chin so her eyes meet his, the girl on fire grey eyes meeting the boy with the bread blue eyes,"…you have a beautiful body and you shouldn't be ashamed of the way you look, ok?" Peeta said with a strong but loving tone.

"O-ok," Katniss mumbled but smiled not wanting to argue with Peeta.

"Good," Peeta leaned in and gave her kiss that made them both want more but after last night they didn't have enough energy to. "Come on let's get some breakfast," they both got up and got dressed, well put on some underwear and just a robe over the top. Walking down the stairs to the kitchen.

Sitting down at the table eating waffles and pancakes that Peeta had made. Both just sat eating in a comfortable silence before Peeta broke the silence.

"Katniss, are you still sure about having children?" Peeta spoke with a nervous tone.

"Why? Don't you want them anymore?" Katniss replied with her voice shaking slightly. She told him last night that she wanted to try and have children with him, the more she thought about having children the more she started to have them and now that she finally said she would he didn't want them?

"No, no I do of course I do, why wouldn't i? I just wasn't sure if you really wanted them, I didn't want you to just have them because I really want them." He spoke with his voice filled with passion but fear, fear of what she might say.

"No I do want them, I'm sorry it took so long for me to say yes. I am really sorry." Tears threatening to fall but she couldn't cry, she just couldn't'.

"Don't be sorry," and he just lent forward stopping her from saying anything else, much like she did when they were in the 74th Hunger Games, his lips crashing against hers hungrily. Their lips moving in the same perfect rhythm, just like them. Ever thought that first held her mind just left as she felt his lips roaming over hers in as much need as she felt for him.

Peeta lifted Katniss off of her chair and placed her in his lap with one hand wrapped around her waist and his other hand tangled in her hair. His lips leaving her mouth to then place hungry hot kisses down her neck emitting a moan from her throat and as he felt her grind against him the doorbell went.

"Ugh, can't people leave us alone!" Peeta groaned into her hair taking in her sent and not wanting to get up and luckily Katniss could tell he didn't want to get up. She got off his lap and make sure that her robe was secure and covering her. She opened the door to find Haymitch standing there…


	3. Fear

Haymitch just stood there with a bottle of liquor and his clothes scruffy and dirty, nothing unusual. "What do you want Haymitch?" Katniss spoke in a polite tone but still wore that scowl that she had adopted many years ago.

"W-what? Oh w-wrong house," He spoke in his usual slur when he had always drunk too much. He just left their front door and stumbled on back to his house whilst drinking from his bottle of liquor. Katniss shook her head at the state of what he was in but she knew the reason, and was thankful she didn't turn out like Haymitch.

Walking back into the kitchen finding Peeta sat in the same seat as he was before the knock at the door. She couldn't help but notice that his eyes seemed different, a good different though. Their eyes locked together like they did all the time when nobody was around. It was their way of saying everything they wanted to say without having to form the words aloud.

"What are we doing today then?" Katniss asked, she really wanted to finish what she and Peeta were doing before the knock at the door but she always got a little shy when it came to these moments.

"Umm well as much as I was enjoying what we were doing I have to go down to the bakery, I'm really sorry." Peeta spoke with a sad plead when he said _"… I'm really sorry."_ And she knew that he was sorry.

"No that's fine, I was going to hunt and that," hoping that her words were convincing. They both went upstairs and got dressed but not successfully, they both couldn't control their hands or their mouths but they both had to stop because Peeta had to go to the bakery. Giving him a long lingering kiss before he left the house. Katniss grabbed her game bag and set off for the woods, the place where she could fully relax and escape.

Making her normally short journey down to the woods and her usual check for the hum of wire tell her if the fence was alive with electricity but as normal it wasn't. Grabbing her bow and arrows from the inside of the hollow tree that she had always put them in for protection. Loading up her bow ready to hunt did tears start to fall down her checks and a sob escape her full pink lips.

Her bow and arrow dropping from her hands and her body crashing to the fall. She had never gotten like this before and she didn't know she so upset and on the brink of tears all the time but a lot things in her life puzzled her, and herself was the main one.

Just letting the tears mark streaks down her face. She felt so confused and lost about herself and her life. She loved being married to Peeta and would never change that not for anything … but she was still unsure if her still felt the same way about her, like he did when they were first reaped into the Hunger Games. Times had changed, and so had she.

Katniss was still not used to being in love and having that love in return. After years of not wanting to be in love and seeing as a sign of weakness, only upon herself not others. She still felt like that she wasn't good enough for Peeta, it's taken her fifteen years for her to actually agree to have a child with him.

_Child_ that word brought on more tears, fear struck her. Fear for her child's safety, fear for Peeta leaving her if they did have children, fear for what the children's future will be like. She couldn't help but feel trapped in her own body and scared.

She just sat there in the woods, a broken woman.


	4. Memories

A smile plastered upon his perfect full pink lips, Peeta Mellark couldn't but smile and think of her. He still couldn't believe that Katniss, _his_ Katniss, had said that she would want to have children. It made him love her even more and more deeply. He couldn't remember being this happy . . . well he could, of course he could.

The day that she had said she loved (and meant it), the day he proposed to her, their wedding day and the very first time they made love. Each of those days had been printed in his mind and could never be erased.

The day she had told him that she loved him…

_It was a cold and wet winter's day, and so close to Christmas. Her mother was living in district 2 and Gale, well nobody knew where Gale had gone but Peeta knew Gale was still alive. It was still only months after the rebellion and war had ended but the horror and memory of it all still lingered on, and would for so long._

_Peeta had seen Katniss a couple of times but only at a glance and from when he went and planted those primroses. It broke his heart when he saw what she looked like, her hair was messy and tangled and looked as if it hadn't been washed or been re-braided for weeks (maybe months), she looked like she had lost weight but not as much as when they had been in the arena (both times), her grey eyes showed no emotion not even pain._

_He so desperately wanted to see her but after the day when he planted those primroses she had ran back inside her house, and he couldn't help but feel sadden and more lost. He knew he still loved her and there was no doubt about that . . . but he felt like a monster and sometimes wished that he didn't fall for her again after he started to play 'Real or not real?' and had asked her questions._

_The bag at in his hands was feeling damp and horrible against the cold skin of his hand but he had to go, he couldn't leave without any belongings, but then he wished he didn't have to leave. He had walked past Katniss's house (he couldn't call it her home because nothing felt like home to her anymore) and he had just stood staring at her front door. He thought about going and telling her he was leaving but he thought it best if he didn't._

_He kept walking towards the train station, walking and not being able to stop. He was going to catch the train into district 4 to start over, just what he needed. He arrived at the train station dripping and soaked but not caring, he had all of sudden become numb and lost. He checked the time on his ticket and the time on his old battered watch that used to belong to his father, the only member of his family he could connect to. _

"_P-Peeta," Peeta spun round at the stuttered whisper of his name and hoping it came from the person he thought. His blue eyes met the grey of girl he had loved for so long, Katniss. They both stood rooted on the spot neither knowing what to say or do. _

"_Katniss," Peeta hushed after a while but he didn't know what to say or do. He wanted to stay but then he also wanted to . . . forget. _

"_No Peeta, let me speak." She said in that strong voice of hers. She waited for Peeta to say 'Ok' or 'fine' but no words came from his lips, so she continued. "I'm sorry for what I've done and for who I am, I'm truly sorry. I wished I could turn back time and change everything that has had happen between us. I d-don't w-want yo-you t-t-to g-go, I-I-I l-l-lo-lov-love you." Her eyes only locking onto his for a moment before returning to the ground, as if looking at him even more would only cause her more pain._

_Before he could register what he was doing he stepped towards and took her in his arms, trying to hold the girl who was broken together. He captured her lips onto his in nothing but a sweet but passionate kiss that left the wanting more, wanting each other. But Peeta had to make sure._

"_Real?" he whispered to her in his soft voice. His eyes looking into hers, into her heart and soul._

"_Real," she replied as if the answer couldn't be anything but real._

After fifteen years he still couldn't believe her love for him was nothing but real. Sometimes he felt like this was all a dream and he would wake up to his mum's shouts but her love for him was real, as real as his love for her.

The day he proposed to her was the most nervous he had been in so long. He had taken the pearl that he had given to her in the Quarter Quell and had it placed on a white gold band, with no diamonds or anything else added to it. He wanted to do something special and magical but he often thought that you didn't need to dress something or someone up in order to make it special, just being with her in the moment was special enough.

_He was walking back from the bakery after a long day and just looking forward to just spending time with Katniss. He hoped that she had gotten fresh game today, but he didn't need to hope he just knew. It had taken her awhile to get back into hunting but now she was back to normal, well as normal as she could be after seeing such horrors._

_He thought about cooking her stew with plums (her favourite) with a couple of cheese rolls (also her favourite) he wanted it to be special but not to special that she would become suspicious and figure out what he was doing. He arrived at their house and went straight in and found her in the kitchen (and much to his disappointment) cooking but he couldn't say anything, he could ruin it._

"_Hello," he whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist and placing a long lingering kiss on her neck earning him with a slight moan. _

"_Hello, I'm cooking you squirrel, carrots and parsnips, is that ok?" she asked._

"_Um yeah that's fine but I was planning on cooking for you," Peeta replied honestly._

"_Oh sorry but you can cook tomorrow night? Is that ok?" she looked into his eyes, his deep blue eyes that she could get lost in._

"_Yeah that's fine and you don't need to be sorry," he kissed her on the forehead and started to help her cook._

_They both just stayed sat at the table not really wanting to move but they both started to feel sleepy. Peeta was starting to get more nervous about proposing to Katniss, what if she says no? What if she just runs out and I never see her again? What if she says yes only because she doesn't want to upset me? All those question ran through his mind and the more the thought about them the more scared and nervous he became, but he felt he needed to do this._

_He got up from his chair and got down on one knee right beside her chair and held out the pearl engagement ring in his palm and spoke the words, "Katniss will you stay with me always? Will you marry me?" he didn't want to give a fancy speech because in the end all he wanted was to marry Katniss._

_Her eyes were shone with tears of happiness and love, love for him. She didn't need to say anything. Her lips just met his much like on the day she had told him she loved him at the train station. Their lips hungrily pressed against each other, their hands exploring each other. Before they got to lost did they both pull back with their breathing loud and heavy. Peeta slipped the ring on to her ring finger on her left hand, a perfect fit._

"_Real," _

Most people would have said that when he proposed it wasn't anything special but to him it was and why should it have to matter to everyone else, this wasn't the Hunger Games anymore.

Their wedding day hadn't been anything massive, like the capitol would have done for their fake wedding. It had only been the pair of them and the justice building. His family were dead and her mother didn't want to come back to 12 because of the memories that it held for her. They had said their vows and then left for their honeymoon. Even though it wasn't a big event in appearance it was a big event to him and Katniss and definitely a day that even tracker jacker venom couldn't spoil.

Their honeymoon had been everything he had dreamt of since he was sixteen years old. They had made love for the first time, and even though it was both their first time and it was messy it was still special and unforgettable. A smirk would often graze his lips when he thought about that night and the nights since then that they had made loved, and the fact every time with her felt just like their first.

Peeta's thought about his memories with her and the memories to come. He wondered what their children would look like, what their personality would be like. But then a scary thought crept its way into his mind, what if she regretted saying real?


	5. Deciding

Tick tock, tick tock. The days rolled by and no change . . . no addition happened. Katniss felt even more confused about herself and her being for she for the past fifteen years didn't want a child, but now it was all she could think of and wanted.

She and Peeta had been trying for a couple months now and each month when Mother Nature arrived so did the darkness in her and Peeta's eyes. Their hope was wearing thin but they always had next month, right?

Their marriage seemed to go going in direction that neither could follow nor keep up with. Every day was the same. They would get up at the same time, leave the house at the same time; Peeta would go to the bakery while Katniss went to hunt (even though there was no need as the weren't under the ruling of The Capitol). They both still trying for a baby but the doubt of ever being able to have one was strongly lingering in their minds.

Katniss fought a daily battle in her head over letting Peeta down. For so long she wanted to have children but the fear that came with having children in Panem was always stronger than the thought of having a child made from her and Peeta's love for one another. But now that she had said that she wanted to have a child and after trying for nearly a year now she was starting to sink back into the darkness that held her after the death of her sister, Prim.

Every month that rolled by and the sign of blood broke her heart, she felt like someone was driving a knife slowly into her body going a little bit deeper each time.

Peeta felt more hurt at the prospect of not being able to have a child rather than when Katniss had told him for fifteen years that she didn't want to have a child. He found himself blaming himself all the time for being the reason for them not being able to have a child so far. He hated himself for pushing Katniss into having a child but she had told him MANY times that it wasn't his fault.

The couple were being distant with each other and only coming together at night when they were inside each other and they were moaning out each other's names in an ecstasy of feeling each other's hot bodies.

Even Haymitch had noticed a change in the couple, and he had spent nearly all of his time at the end of any liquor bottle he could get a hold of. Many times he felt like being the mentor he had been for them all those years ago, but he thought against in the end.

Katniss was thinking about going to a doctor and getting some advice on anything she could do to try and do in order to try and get pregnant or to go and do the thing she was fearing the most, getting checked to see if anything was wrong with her.

_Fear_, to Katniss it felt like the emotion she was capable of feeling at the present time. Her heart pained at the prospect of not being able to give Peeta what he deserved and wanted, she loved him so much. She often thought about letting Peeta go.

She was sitting in their living room staring out the window at the autumn scenery of District 12. The leaves blowing across the ground from the constant blow of wind. Her thoughts going to the one of the only things that consumed her mind now.

She couldn't help but think it was her fault, it was always her fault. She couldn't do anything right anymore. She was letting down Peeta, what kind of a wife was she letting down her husband.

She wanted to get help but then to her getting help meant admitting that there was a problem, and she didn't want to admit that there was a problem.

Her grey seam eyes travelled down to her stomach and she tried to imagine what it would be like to have her stomach round and prominent, her carrying the child that was made of her and Peeta's love for each other. She couldn't help but smile.

She imagined Peeta coming home from working at the bakery and taking off his coat and shoes like he always did when he got through the front door with a big grin on his face at the sight her stomach. She imagined him resting his hands on her stomach to feel the baby, to talk to it. The thought of him placing soft kisses over her baby bump.

She didn't care if she got fat when she was carrying their baby but she did care that when her body would change if she did get pregnant that Peeta would no longer look at her the same. That his eyes would no longer darken with desire at the sight or glimpse of her naked nobody, or that he would want to hold her close to him always, or that he would stop loving her…

Tears slowly ran down her face, she couldn't stop them. How could she get upset over something that hasn't happened? How could she cry over something that she might never go through?

Her head flicked up at the sound of the door, her hands going up to wipe the tears away but she stopped herself she was only going to be crying more in a minute. She had decide on what she thought would help them.

"Peeta…" she whispered getting ready to say something that would help them but break them.


	6. what to do

Even the whisper of his name on her lips was too painful for her. The thought of what words would follow next would not be any easier than his name.

"What is it Katniss? What's wrong?" Peeta spoke, his voice thick with panic. He had felt them drift away ever since there hope of having a baby had slowly become a dream that would never come true. He was more scared of something happening between them than the chance of them not having a baby together. "Katniss talk to me please?"

Katniss just sat there numb and cold to the heart, she didn't know what she felt anymore but she knew that it wasn't anything happy.

"Peeta I'm so sorry for not being able to give you what you want and stopping you from having a life that you deserve to have so much, but I have to do this." Her eyes had been drained of all emotion, they were just empty. She really didn't want to do what she felt she needed to do but sometimes you have to force yourself to do the most painful things so others can be happy. But what's he was going to do was going to be painful for Peeta as well but at least he would get what he wanted and deserved, a family.

"Sorry for what? Katniss please tell me what's going on." He voice thick with desperation and getting more panicky by the second.

"I'm sorry for not giving you what you deserve but I want you to be happy and have what you've wanted for so long, but I will love you always but I have to do this." She was scared that the moment she said that she was going that he would flip out at her and hurt her, but she had remind herself that was Peeta and he would never do anything like that.

"I just want _YOU!_ I only _need _you!" Peeta shouted but even though he shouted those words they dripped from his lips with nothing but love. And before she could reply did he have her pinned to the sofa of their living room. His body pressed right up against hers so that every one of his muscles pressed to her toned perfect body.

Katniss tried to pull away but the feel of his hot lips pressed to hers begging entrance, she opened her mouth slightly to let his hot wet tongue slid into her mouth to join hers. Normally Katniss was the one whom dominated when it came to their hot heavy kisses and when they had sex, and Peeta had no objections to it in fact he found it more of turn on. But this time it was Peeta's turn to _control._

He kept pressing and rubbing his hardening erection against Katniss's pussy making her gasp and moan slightly. His lips trailing slowly suckling on her ear lobe emitting a long moan from her lips that wanted to latch on any part Peeta she could. Her hands running through his hair and pulling slightly making Peeta groan in the back of his throat, with her hands in his hair did she pull his head back up so it was level with hers. She started leaving a trail of kisses along his jaw line and start to make her way down to the sensitive part on his neck that always made me grow harder and want more.

Peeta sensing where she was going with this did he sit up and drape her long smooth legs around his waist. His baker hands running up her waist and back down to the hem of t-shirt making her shudder, he lifted the t-shirt of her head and left her in her white laced bra that stood out against her olive skin. His deep blue's eyes became even darker at the sight of her slightly covered breasts.

A coy smile ran along Katniss's lips from seeing her husband gaze at her hungrily, oh how she loved to play him. Not caring about what he wanted to do next did she grab a fitful of his shirt and half rip and half pull it from his toned body that made her always weak in the knees at the sight of him. Her lips went straight to his neck and bit and suckled lightly drawing out a long deep moan from his throat. Before Peeta had the chance to make a move did Katniss get up and quickly leave the leaving room to go to their bedroom.

Peeta only latched on to the fact that she had left room did he get up as quickly as he could, well as quickly as his prosthetic leg could. He made the same route to the bedroom as Katniss had but on his way did he spot Katniss's jeans and then a little bit further her white laced bra that was only a couple of steps away from their bedroom door, he walked over to the bedroom that was slightly shut ajar but as he reached for the door knob did he find that Katniss had draped her white laced panties on there, and he couldn't help but smile at the fact that they were dap with from her cum.

Slowly pushing the door open did he find Katniss in the centre of their bed, he couldn't help but let a moan escape him at the sight of her naked body that somehow seem to look like it was covered in something.

"Why Katniss I think you may have left a few things behind." His voice deep and husky but with a menacing tone. He held up her panties that he had only found just a few moments ago. Her checks emitting a sort of glow and she bit on to her lip slightly trying to act innocent…


End file.
